Hostility In The Family

Some fathers have a hard time when it comes to splitting up with the mother of their children. There are a lot of emotions flying around from both parties; you might be a little angry, or you might be sad or just not acting like yourself in general. Things are going to be said that both of you might regret. Nonetheless, all these heightened feelings get projected onto other people. Take notice of their, and your, actions. In some cases your ex will be using the child as a tool against you. It’s not unheard of for a parent to plant ideas in their children’s heads about their mother or father being a bad person or not loving them as much as the other parent. Things like this don’t benefit anyone and will actually cause more damage. Look for warning signs and make sure you know your rights as a parent. Here are a couple common questions I hear every day:

  • What are my rights as a father? It’s not an easy question to answer; a lot of things are factors in this. Different states have different policies on parental rights. Establishing paternity (making sure the kid is yours) and having the right paperwork has an impact and will potentially complicate the situation; educate yourself.
  • Will I get in trouble if I leave the state with my child? It would be wise not to do anything irrational. Taking off with the child can have negative legal impacts in certain situations. Again, educate yourself. Consult with a legal professional and get the right answer or find the information in a legal library, there are plenty of online resources for this.

Something to keep reminding yourself I that you’re not the only one who has, or is, going through this. In other words, there are a lot of resources for you out there. Remember that you do have rights as a parent. In the end you need to do what’s best for your kids. If they’re in a bad situation or if you think they might be in danger, do something about it. Make the right decision. Pay attention to your intuition and listen to your kids. They’ll tell you if they don’t like something so make sure you’re listening. This is going to be a balancing act of not rolling over and not being forceful. It’s important to achieve harmony to make the goal into reality.

www.aboutthechildren.org

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Posted in Parenting Tips, Raising Children

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