Coping With Change
Dealing with the aftermath of your divorce can and/or will be tough. The logistical factors of divorcing your ex and sharing custody of the kids such as moving to a new house, getting new furniture, dividing up the possessions you both own, maybe switching jobs and relocating to another town etc. are a source of stress for mothers and fathers going through a divorce or separation. The psychological and emotional stress that comes with the experience of divorce and determining custody can cause greater harm than worrying about money or housing arrangements. So let’s focus on how to work through the stresses of family separation. Here are a few things to think about:
- Routines. Family life is vastly different from the life of a single parent. You may be used to only having a few things to do around the house. Before it might have been a collaborative effort, now all of the responsibility is on your shoulders. Having your kids get used to new routines is difficult as well. It may take awhile for them to get used to changing things up. Assuming that they will cope with everything is the wrong path. You’re both reeling after all this so make sure you’re both on the same page.
- New Household: Whether you’re a single parent, or have a new spouse or partner, your kids might not respond that well to living in a new house. Memories and emotions can easily be attached to a physical place such as their childhood home. Moving, in itself, could be somewhat traumatic to your child. Communication is key here. They need to know that nothing is changing that they’re not necessarily leaving their old house for good but rather gaining another house.
- Maintaining Bonds: It’s really easy for kids to feel alienated and alone with their feelings about everything that’s going on. This change in both your lives could in fact bring both of you closer together; such can be the case in times of hardship. Talking to your kids will go a long way towards making them feel as ease and maintaining your relationship with them.
The main thing to remember is that you’re not alone in all this. Divorce is a very common thing in America these days and there are plenty of resources out there to help you through the process and even after the dust has settled. Local organizations are set up to help single parents and their children cope with the family being split up. It’s important for everyone’s emotional needs to be validated through constant communication with one another. There are ways to obtain a mediator to work with the family as they deal with their new budded problems. Having a third party assist you is not uncommon and can be very beneficial to you and your family. Regardless of how you deal with your situation, it’s okay to seek help. Admitting you need help makes you stronger in the end.