In some cases it’s not uncommon to have a third party step in to your case and examine you, psychologically, as a parent, in order to determine your ability to properly take care of your child. This can produce a negative emotional reaction on your end; this is okay. If you’re forced into being evaluated by the court this feeling could be amplified. It can be stressful and might seem unnecessary to have your parenting skills questioned. Complications can arise with the evaluator themselves as well. It’s not unheard of for some parental evaluators to lean more towards one side than the other. Among legal professionals these kinds of traits among psychological practitioners, such as patterns of being on the mother’s side more than the father’s, or vice versa, are well known within the professional community. So let’s talk about how to overcome some of these kinds of obstacles.
The Emotional Aspect. There’s nothing pleasant about divorcing your wife and sharing custody of your kids. If you’re being held under the microscope by a third party to see if you’re a stable parent, now is a perfect time to not lose your cool. Your evaluator will approach the situation from an objective point of view; meaning their goal is to see the situation from a blank slate’s perspective and make an uninfluenced decision about you or the other parent. If you’re upset, be rational and tell them why. Give examples, make lists, present your own evidence for why you think you’re the better parent etc.
Biased Opinions. Unfortunately, some of these evaluators might exhibit certain patterns of bias towards mothers or fathers in their findings. It’s not always common knowledge but a lot of the time your attorney or the District Attorney might have some knowledge of patterns like this. Make sure you gather all the knowledge you can about these kinds of issues. In some cases it’s possible to file a complaint about your evaluator, if they are obviously biased, and get a new one assigned to you. Check with your local court house for information and resources for parents going through this to better be prepared to handle your situation.
The main thing to remember here is that pointing fingers isn’t going to get anything done. Even if you don’t think you should evaluated for your parenting ability, struggling against the tide in this case might make it worse for you. Think about it like quick sand. If you struggle, you sink deeper. Treat your evaluation as an opportunity. Take the time to explain yourself to this third party. You know you’re a good parent. It’s up to you to show them this so they can make the right decision on your behalf.