People deal with stress in different ways. Going through any family legal process whether it’s a divorce or custody battle or child support matter, produces stress. The emotional strain of splitting up your family can be a lot, and in some cases too much, for people to handle. So what do you do with yourself? It’s not uncommon to feel a little disconnected from yourself or your family in these kinds of stressful situations; if you’re a newbie to the family law world, doubly so. The most common root of people’s troubles with taking the first step or doubting their ability to properly handle the problem is that they’re looking at it as one giant problem. This can be a mistake for a lot of folks. These troubles can easily be projected outward onto the people you care about and especially yourself and just make it hard to move forward in general. Here are a few things to keep in mind and consider as you embark on your trek:
- Step back for a moment. Viewing your situation as one large obstacle can prevent you from making the right decisions. It can be incredibly helpful to step back from the whole thing and break everything down into smaller items you can tally up. Make a list of everything you need to do, in the order you need to do it in. It’s impossible to do everything at once, nobody expects that of you. Breaking the process down into steps will put things in perspective and will allow you to look at one thing at a time rather than a million things at once.
- Feeling a little out of place? Splitting the family up, sharing custody, moving, switching schools or doctors and all the emotional strain that comes with all this can make you feel like you’re in a bad dream. It’s not uncommon to feel disconnected in general from everything. Managing your stress is going to help you out big time. There are all kinds of ways to do this. Some people take up meditation. Sitting in a quiet room and thinking may sound hokey to some, but it can make a difference in your overall outlook on things. If that’s not your thing, find something you enjoy that’s constructive and takes your mind off of things. Build a dog house, write what’s on your mind, paint the garage. There is a fine line between healthy distractions and unhealthy ones. This shouldn’t be about escaping your troubles; it needs to be about working through them. Find a balance that works for you.
The important thing to do is keep your eye on your goal. Keeping a level head and taking care of yourself will allow you to effectively handle the obstacles in front of you. As far as resources go, there are always local or national groups dedicated to helping parents through difficult family issues like this. If you’re feeling helpless or that there’s nothing you can do, think again. Take comfort in knowing that hundreds of parents have gone through this before you.
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I truly enjoy this post and this blog. Coming from someone who was put through a high profile custody battle based on false child abuse allegations I find the information here down to earth and very practical as well as civil. I have written a few of my blogs to my experiences fighting for my children. Thank you for your information and contribution.
Great to hear you find this information helpful and encouraging. Custody battles are one of the most difficult things a parent can endure. Congrads to you now that it is over! We will check out some of your other posts about your experience, they can help parents who are going through similar battles presently.
Child custody battles are tough on everyone, but most of all the children. No child should ever be put in the middle of the financial tug of war waged by the non-custodial parent just because they are angry about how things have changed in their lives. Keep the children the TOP priority. Love the advice about stepping back away from the situation. Meditation is great but sometimes I just can’t be still. Some of my best thinking has been done cleaning house. On a few occassions, it has become sparkling clean, at least for a few hours. But decisions were made and perspective regained. Please keep up the good work. Love your blog and will be following it.
Thanks for sharing. Your words are well stated and affirming to the responsibilities required to be a good parent. Thank you for following our blog and we hope you continue to find it beneficial.