Being the victim of false accusations is not only a messy thing to deal with legally, on paper and in the court room, but it can be an awful feeling to have someone that you started to build a life with make accusations of abuse or neglect. There’s really no way to prepare yourself for this kind of thing. Normally in these posts we like to steer people in the communication direction. In cases like this however talking to your ex, or whoever is making these accusations, could make things worse and brings the possibility of them using that against you. It’s not unheard of for a mother or father to try and make contact with their ex and have them exaggerate the story even more by telling police or lawyers they feel the kids, or even themselves, are in danger. Keeping your distance might be a good thing in this kind of situation. Reacting in the correct manner will greatly increase the chances of these accusations being lifted. Here are some things to think about:
- Evidence: If you receive information that a report has been made against you, gathering evidence that proves otherwise is probably one of the first things you should start doing. Having proof of names, dates and places will work in your favor. If the mother or father says you came to the house threatening to kick the door down and you have a receipt from the service station proving you were there at that time and not at the house, that would disprove those allegations.
- Legal Council: In this kind of situation, meeting with someone with experience dealing with these kinds of legal matters would benefit you greatly. They can provide you with information on what you should do and how you should respond.
- State Involvement: If allegations of child neglect or abuse are made against you, the state may get involved. Having child protective services knock on your door and start asking you questions and taking photographs can feel invasive. Being level headed and cooperating with them will help you in the long run. Not cooperating and fighting them will work against you. If your ex is saying your house is overflowing with garbage and there are farm animals in the living room, CPS will clearly be able to see this is not the case upon entering your home.
- Have Some Allies: Having friends and family to back you up is another great way to overturn false accusations. The more people on your side telling any third party investigating the case that you’re a good parent with a good job and all that will greatly increases your chances of those allegations being dismissed.
The main thing to remember is to make sure you have all your ducks in a row. Putting together proof of that you’re not a bad parent can feel terrible. Nobody likes being accused of being a bad parent, especially by the mother or father of your children. The best thing you can do is know your rights as a parent. Educating yourself on what you can do, what you should say and what you shouldn’t say are all things you should research with a legal professional or on your own through a legal library or online resources.
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