How To Win In Family Court As A Father

Fathers VS. The Court

                As a father trying to get custody of your child can seem like an uphill battle, the majority of the time this is in fact the case, however it is possible to win your case if you use the right tools. Historically, the courts tend to grant custody of children to the mother, at least primary custody. If it’s come down to a custody battle in court, you’ve already made a step in the right direction by taking an interest, legally, in your children. This may seem like an obvious step to take but there are plenty of fathers out there who don’t make that first step. This is the 21st century however and times are changing. The norms imposed upon us by society that dictate how a family should operate are shifting and fathers are being recognized as an equally important factor in a child’s life. If you’re finding yourself in this situation, here are some factors to think about concerning your case:

  • What Kind Of Work Do You Do? Having a job will greatly increase your chances of the judge granting you some form of custody. Being able to provide for your child financially is at the top of the list. If you’re unemployed, it might be time to change that. The nature of your work could come into questions but it’s important, in general, to have a source of income.
  • Getting Back To Basics. If you’re at a loss or unsure of where to begin, it never hurts to have a refresher course. Take a parenting class or get involved with some programs that help parents achieve their goals of custody or visitation for their kids. You’re not on your own here, there are plenty of resources for parents like you out there.  Educating yourself is the best thing you can do for yourself.
  • Records. Having financial statements from your bank, receipts for things you’ve bought for the children etc all help you in the court room. The whole idea is to get your story in the hands of a judge so he can see that you care about your child and that you’re trying to make a decision that’s in their best interests. Having documentation of anything relevant to your case will help you out in the long run, especially if this is the kind of case where your ex is trying to discredit you.
  • Presenting Yourself In Court. This can make or break your case in most scenarios. Having a suit and tie, your documents organized and being fully mentally prepared will show the judge that you’re on top of your game. If you need more information on this, talk to a legal professional who can prepare you for court.


This is all about making yourself look good so you can show the judge that you’re making every effort you can to get to spend time with your children. You might be surprised how much your appearance and preparedness will influence a judge’s decision. You’re not the only parent having to deal with this and you won’t be the last. Talk to an attorney or do some online research on how to best be prepared when going through the court system.

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Posted in Child Custody, Child Visitation, Children, Courtroom Preparation, Family, Family Court, Fathers Rights
8 comments on “How To Win In Family Court As A Father
  1. shellakers says:

    My brother went through a big custody battle over his daughter. Her mother allowed her to be hurt by a heroin addict cousin and her stepfather. My niece was allowed to run wild at the age of 11 and on and on and on…. Still the courts wouldn’t go against the mother. I think, in part, because my niece was a teenager and didn’t want to leave the freedom that her mother’s home provided.

    I love that you’re so specific in your instructions… down to what the man should wear! What we found was the most important was keeping VERY detailed and accurate records. Without them, there really isn’t any point. Thanks so much for this!

    • Unfortunately, family court has come down to who can lie the best and persuade the judge accordingly (in most cases). This is partially due to the fact that family court has so many cases being scheduled, court officials do not have the time to really investigate even the facts at times when making their decisions.
      This is one of the reasons we exist and to help parents be as prepared as possible to get their side of the story heard efficiently when they get to their hearing.

      Thanks for your comment and hopefully your brother will be able to see his daughter as she matures in her coming years. Please refer him to our site!

      • shellakers says:

        Oh thank you so much for that! Unfortunately, you are so right about who can lie the best. My brother didn’t win his case and his daughter is now 19 BUT the good news is that she now knows that her dad would die for her and go into very much debt to fight for her. She’s straightened out and turned into a wonderful, responsible human being.

        I would tell the other dads going through these things that to FIGHT even if they think there’s no use. Maybe they won’t win but in the end, the child usually finds out who was willing to run the marathon of life with them… like my niece now knows. She sees her mother as someone who wanted to “parent” for a paycheck. The only reason her mother wanted her was for the child support my brother could provide. So sad but true in many cases.

  2. My brother had to go through custody issues to get his son. The child’s mom was on meth, promising to change, checking in to rehab for the court, then checking herself out the next day. CPS was involved, and the first time they let him stay with her, because it looked like she was trying to do the right thing. Unfortunately it was just an act. When their water had been cut off for a week (she lied about getting that turned back on too), CPS was called again. Even though she talked a good game, she didn’t cooperate with CPS, her attorney, or the court. It’s is a fight for a dad to get custody! Not an easy fight at all! I was there with them every step of the way. Document everything and yes, even take the parenting classes! Jump through all the hoops you have to, because that’s what you do for your kids! It is possible for a dad to get custody if you fight for it!

    • Thanks for sharing this experience! Your brother is a very dedicated parent and thank your for supporting him throughout. We encourage parents everyday to create a support group of friends and family when going through this process, as it is too easy to quit at times, even when their children’s well being is at hand. Great comment, thank you very much for your statements.

  3. […] How To Win In Family Court As A Father ( […]

  4. I have been told once a child is 12,they can decide where they want to live. Is this true?

    • Different states and counties have different regulations. Depending that, you’re child might be able to express verbally where they want to live in court, however any and all decisions are made final by a judge. A child’s opinion is not the only determining factor in custody case.

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