It’s commonly understood that once you split up with your ex, both of you will have to choose a side and that this will be the case with the friends that you both shared as well. This doesn’t have to be the case however. It is possible to maintain the relationships you two once shared as well as the friendship the two of you had as well. In a shared custody situation, maintaining a working relationship with your ex is ideal, granted this can be difficult but you have to look at the bigger picture. Friendships are part of being a person in the world. You can’t get very far without a few allies in your corner. Once you separate from your ex, the friends you two had together may or may not think as pragmatically as this.
People’s friends can have different reactions to their divorce. It’s quite common for someone to choose a side. This can be hurtful if you’re not the side that they choose. Hard feelings or feelings of abandonment are not uncommon but can be worked through if one has the proper avenues. It’s also common for someone to try and be friends with both you of you at the same time. This is especially true for cases of high school sweet hearts. If you’ve been together since you were kids, the friends you have will have known the two of you for more than a decade or even longer. In scenarios like this, they might try and maintain relationships with both of you, which can be awkward but also good. The main thing to remember is the way you and your ex react to your divorce will dictate how the friends you guys had act towards the either of you. If you’re at each other’s throats and name calling or pointing fingers, it’s much easier for your friends to feel like they need to choose a side.
Being open and communicating openly to your friends, family and your ex will make things of whole lot easier for you and everyone else. It can be difficult to talk about your divorce as there are usually hard feelings associated with your separation. Regardless, effective communication helps build and maintain effective relationships, whether they’re friendships or relationships with romantic dividends. Everything can be solved with words and friendships are no different. It’s also important to be mindful of how your kids view how you handle these kinds of situations. How you deal with the friendships you or your ex has, is how they will deal with their own relationships in their lives. These experiences can be lessons for everyone in this way. Make sure you talk to your kids about what’s going on especially if a person that was once around you guys a lot suddenly stops coming around.; younger children won’t know what’s going on or what it all means, it’s your job to explain the situation to them.
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