How to Avoid a Manipulative Ex in the Court Room

Court Room Manipulation

                It’s easy to be manipulated by your ex in a divorce and custody case. This is mainly due to the amount of emotions and stress in the air during a case like this. As a mother or father harsh words from your ex can easily hurt you. Because of the vulnerability involved and the desire to do the best thing for your child, your ex could see this as an opportunity to take advantage of you. It’s an easy thing to be taken advantage of. It’s not uncommon for a parent to simply give up halfway through because they think the court proceedings and meetings with lawyers are causing psychological trauma to the child or they see their ex as having more power in the court room than them and can’t see an outcome where they come out on top. Getting past these kinds of feelings is the first step. You obviously need to take your child’s emotional well being into account but if you feel yourself being manipulated, actively or passively, by your ex make sure you act appropriately. Here’s a few things to think about:

  • Past Occurrences: Your ex might bring up the past to make you look bad, being prepared for this kind of argument is difficult but not impossible. If you have a domestic violence case from the past, that might affect things but if you can show the judge that the you that’s here and now is doing the best thing for the children in question or that you’re improving your life in some way, your history can be overlooked.
  • Don’t Back Down. A lot of parents out there have an overwhelming feeling of helplessness if they feel that their ex has more power or resources to throw at this than you do. Move past this. Generally speaking, this kind of power is an illusion. What really matters is what’s on paper. If you have a well written argument and the right court documents, you can greatly increase your chances of getting custody of your kids. If your ex has a high powered attorney, that’s fine. You need to stand firm even in the eye of a tornado.
  • Remain Calm. It’s not uncommon for a person’s ex to produce lies and slander in the hopes that you will fly off the handle and become angry or perhaps even violent, people’s reactions can vary if they feel they are backed into a corner. Being calm and rational will do you a lot of good. If your ex is lying to the judge, waiving your hands around and yelling is the opposite of what you should do. Let them speak, and then present your own argument. If the evidence is there that they’re not being honest, the judge will see that.

Feeling hopeless about the outcome of your case can be a crushing feeling because of lawyer fees, court room fees, fear induced by your ex or a number of other factors involved in your case. These things can cloud your vision. There are parental resources to make use of in custody and divorce cases, it’s just a matter of seeking them out and making use of them. The hard work you put into a case like this will pay off.

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Posted in Child Custody, Child Visitation, Courtroom Preparation, Divorce, Family, Family Court
13 comments on “How to Avoid a Manipulative Ex in the Court Room
  1. cwordlaw says:

    Great post…very informative! Keep up the good work!

  2. Remaining calm is so key. So hard to do, but really is crucial to surviving the divorce process. Easy for me to advise now that it is all said and done. After being in the court system for over 3 years, I speak from experience. Great post.

  3. […] How to Avoid a Manipulative Ex in the Court Room ( […]

  4. […] How to Avoid a Manipulative Ex in the Court Room ( […]

  5. spacegirl13 says:

    I really appreciate your posts and look forward to reading more….So many families and children will benefit from the information you share…

  6. Wagons Ho says:

    Thanks so much for stopping by my blog. I’ll keep you in mind if I run across anyone who could use this great information.

  7. […] How to Avoid a Manipulative Ex in the Court Room ( […]

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