Modifying Your Court Order
There are many reasons someone might want to change the custody or visitation arrangement they have with their kids and their ex. A lot of mothers and fathers out there obviously wish they had more time with their kids. Having 50/50 shared custody with your ex is really the most desirable outcome in family law because it allows the children to see both parents on a regular schedule and doesn’t necessarily cut one of them out of the child’s life. However, nothing remains the same and changes need to be made from time to time. If you’re trying to change the custody or visitation agreement you have through the courts and through the other parent, you need to have a good reason to. Sometimes there is a significant life style change with one of the parents, in a positive or negative way. Fathers can modify their visitation schedule to decrease the amount of child support they are required to pay etc. Here are a few reasons one might want to change their parenting agreement.
- Substance Abuse. Unfortunately alcoholism and drug use are a real threat to families across the nation. It’s not uncommon to hear a mother or father seeking to gain full custody of their child because their ex is suspected of using drugs or drinks too much around the children. If you’re going to make this kind of allegation make sure you have sufficient evidence before you take it to court. You can petition to court for what you want in family law it’s just a matter of having a good enough reason and the evidence to support it.
- Lifestyle Changes. In some cases it might be necessary to decrease the amount of custody or visitation you have with your kids. You could get a different job, move to another town or just increase the number of hours you work each week. In cases like this, it wouldn’t be beneficial your child to drag them around to a different town or add another hour to their commute to school. This is especially true in rural areas of the country. It can be a hard decision to make but we all have to do what is necessary.
- Safety of the Child. One of the most common complaints from parents out there who are separated from their ex is that they don’t feel that they’re children are safe around their ex’s new partner. It’s easy to resent their new boyfriend or girlfriend spending time with your kids, make sure there is a good reason to be concerned; jealousy can cloud one’s vision. If it is the case however that their boyfriend or girlfriend is a negative influence on your children or has a questionable past that makes you feel uncomfortable, make sure the judge knows this and the reasons why if and when you step into the court room.
Make sure you’re the making your decisions based on the best interests of your child. It’s easy to make a decision that reflects your wants and desires to see your kids more, even if it’s harder on them to do so. Making an unbiased decision is a very difficult thing to do and it can be argued that making any unbiased decision is near impossible because of how our minds are programmed. If you are seeking to modify the court order that’s in place for custody or visitation, you need to present your case to the judge so it makes sense to him and so she/he can tell you’re trying to make the best decision for the child or children in question.
Related articles
- Which Child Custody Plan is Best For You and Your Children? (aboutthechildrenblog.com)
- How to Avoid a Manipulative Ex in the Court Room (aboutthechildrenblog.com)
- Let’s Define Our Child Custody Terms (aboutthechildrenblog.com)
- More Child Custody Evidence For Family Court (aboutthechildrenblog.com)
About The Children, LLC's Blog 
The truth really is to do what is in the best interest of the children, as you have stated. It is so so hard sometimes to remove yourself and your feelings from the situation, especially when it involves your children being around your ex’s new partner. It is heart wrenching. However, we must leave our feelings out of it. At the end of the day, I always tell myself, I would rather my son is happy to go see his father (and I get my free time) than spend my time and energy coming up with reasons he shouldn’t be there due to the way it makes me feel that my son encounters the person in his dad’s life. That attitude works for no one involved. It is draining. And believe me, the issues I have had with this woman were less than stellar. I choose to leave my son out of it and keep him from those details. It is better for children of divorce to be allowed to be children as much as possible. They have experienced enough at too young of an age, even when we have tried to shield them. I also want to say that I have found it super important to remain friendly with my ex. It is not always possible and even in my case it is shocking to be able to do so. However, if one can remain friendly, sometimes you don’t need to go through the court to keep your visitation schedule flexible. We adhere loosely to what it is in our agreement and if something comes up or changes drastically, we are able to adjust it between the two of us. The less you need to be in court, the better emotionally it is for everyone, including the children. Again, not possible in all cases, but it is what works for me.