Talking With Your Ex
It is possible to have a healthy relationship with your ex after you guys split up. A common stereotype in our country is that we have to be enemies with our ex’s. This creates a lot of trouble for parents who are split up and sharing custody of their children or fighting between each other in court over who gets custody and who doesn’t. Move past these ideas of how you should be acting towards your ex wife or husband. Should is a word that, ironic enough as it is to say, shouldn’t be thrown around lightly. However, having a decent working relationship with the other parent of your child can be beneficial to you as well as your child. Sometimes this isn’t possible and this isn’t a perfect world. But if you share custody of your children, it is in your best interests as well as your child’s to maintain a solid working relationship so decisions can be made and custody can be shared without any major blow ups. Not sure how to go about this or looking for extra tips or advice? Here are a few things to think about, write down or implement in your daily life:
- Living Close To Each Other. If you live close to your ex husband or ex wife, this can be easier or harder depending on how your separation went. If there is bad blood between you two, and you live in the same neighborhood, it’s not uncommon for things to get ugly real quick. If you harbor negative feelings towards your ex, think about how you exhibit these feelings. Do you badmouth the kid’s mother or father in front of the children? Did you lose some friends through the divorce? These are all things that need to be put behind you, at least in terms of interacting with your child and the other parent. Children perceive way more than people think they do and as such, pick up on negative vibes from their parents. Having a good working relationship with your ex while you share custody takes a lot of pressure off of your child.
- Money Issues. A lot of divorced parents out there, and this is especially true for mothers, have constant problems with child support. Money can plant bad seeds in a relationship and can ruin any civility that has been established. If you’re a father or mother paying child support, it’s crucial to be up on your payments. You hear stories about people getting behind on their payments and having their wages garnished or penalties enforced by the court all the time. Not allowing this to become an issue relieves a lot of stress in situations like this.
The main thing to remember is to remain in constant contact with your ex. Nobody is a mind read; if you don’t bring up an issue you are having, in a rational and constructive way, then it’s not going to get solved. If you’re not getting enough money from your child’s father for school clothes or medication, bring it up. It’s unfortunate to have to go back to court over an issue like this when it can easily be solved by talking about it. Talking to your ex about who is picking up who or where you are going to meet if you guys meet halfway to exchange the child on weekends adds to this working relationship we’re talking about here. Do what you have to do to make sure things run smoothly.