Don’t Improvise Or Try To Wing-It In Family Court

Posted on February 28, 2013 by About The Children LLC — Leave a comment

Making Clear Decisions Before and After Court

It’s easy to lose yourself in the moment in any situation; child custody battles are no different. Without exaggerating I can say that being clear headed, making well thought out decisions and being organized are probably the most important things you can do to help yourself. In some cases one party can take advantage of the other by throwing accusations around the court room or affecting their mental state in other ways. If you’re unable to function and think clearly, the odds may become stacked against you. So what do you do in the face of verbal attacks, false accusations and the stresses of separation and deciding custody arrangements without losing your cool? Good question. Let’s look at some options and strategies.

Securing Your Position. In some cases, not all, separation happens first before you go to court or mediation. In this scenario you need to find a place to live and make sure it’s a good fit for you and your children. Like a pilot you need to go over a checklist before you take off. Check out the neighborhood; make sure it’s not in a bad area and that it’s close enough to their school that not a lot has to change with the routine you guys already have. Make sure it’s big enough and that you can afford it. Living in a small space can affect your mental state and your kids will be equally as effected by moving in general, especially so if it’s quite a bit smaller than what they’re used to. It’s really important to have a place to hang your hat. Your stress will be doubled if you feel like you don’t have a proper home to return to at the end of the day.
Write It All Down. If you’re fighting your ex for full custody, you need to be well organized. This could mean keeping track of all your expenses or having records of dates and times. If your ex is saying you weren’t around at a certain time or dodging your responsibilities and going out drinking with friends, having records of where you were and what you were doing, to show to the judge, will work in your favor. It will show the judge that they’re trying to make you out to be the bad guy for no reason and that you’re an organized and responsible person and therefore should be granted whatever you are petitioning the court for.

If you show up unprepared, it’s like showing up to class without your homework; you’ll have no idea what’s going on and the judge isn’t as forgiving as a teacher. Child custody cases are wrought with heightened emotions and stress levels, which can affect how you think and make decisions. If you’re the kind of person that gets upset easily, this will be a difficult process for you, but not impossible. Taking steps to master your anger or stress is just as effective in your case as having the right documents to file. When people panic, they have the potential to make bad choices. Do whatever you have to do to keep your head on straight through all of this. This could mean having a routine cool down period after or before you have to go into court or many others ways to help you deal with everything. The main thing to remember is to keep moving forward.

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