Talking To Your Ex Once You Are Separated

Failure To Communicate

                If you can’t talk to your ex to figure out how your separation is going to work, you will find it even more difficult to talk to your children about what is happening around them. Nearly every dispute can be solved by the simple act of rational communication. In a child custody dispute, a lot can be solved without having to get a court order. It is possible to resolve the issue of custody or visitation by talking to your ex. Sometimes people bring in a third party to assist in the communication process and serve as somewhat of a referee if the two of you seem to not be able to speak in a civil way. If you are already separated and there is a problem with one parent or the other not following a court order you guys have already established or there is just a problem in general such as cost of transportation needing to be assessed or the child is having trouble in school, the issue needs to be talked about so a resolution can be had. Yelling, name calling or projecting any angry emotions at your ex in general, will not help anyone.

  • A Simple Discussion. Whether this is the beginning of your child custody battle or you are trying to hammer out the details after the fact, the two of you sitting down together will yield greater results than the two of you hanging up on each others phone calls, avoiding talking to one another or getting upset at them for one reason or another. Looking at things in terms of practicality (what needs to be done vs. your personal feelings on the matter) is the more sensible choice to make if you want a good outcome to a child custody matter.
  • Where Is Your Anger Coming From? Often times our anger is just a cover up for what’s really irking us below the surface. Without getting too psychological or philosophical, finding the root of your anger will help you work through your negative feelings, which are common in any child custody dispute, will allow you to think and act rationally in your current situation. People make bad choices when they’re mad and things get said that can’t be unsaid. Being able to make clear headed decisions will directly affect your child and how they will experience the rest of your divorce and custody arrangements.

However you decide to handle your separation and custody battle, it should be noted that having a pleasant custody or visitation arrangement depends on your attitude and how well you can get along with your ex. If you can be civil with the other parent and things run smoothly, it’s easier for your child to get used to the new living or visitation schedule you two have set up. This is even more beneficial if you have included your children in your decision making process. If they are old enough to understand what’s going on and can formulate an opinion on the matter, talking to them about the situation with you and their mother or father and allowing them to input their thoughts, things are going to go better overall because everyone is talking and acknowledging each other.

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Posted in A Childs Best Interests, Child Custody, Child Visitation, Children, Parenting Tips
4 comments on “Talking To Your Ex Once You Are Separated
  1. It is very sad how people who once loved each other find themselves unable to even speak civilly with each other. I really can’t fathom how so much hate develops so often between two people.

  2. […] Talking To Your Ex Once You Are Separated ( […]

  3. […] Talking To Your Ex Once You Are Separated ( […]

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