How To Successfully Talk To Your Children During Your Divorce

Communication Breakdown

                The emotional connections we have between others is what binds the world together. As a parent, the relationships we share with our children are strengthened by our interactions with them. One of the best ways to increase these connections we have with our children, friends or even co workers is effective communication. If you can’t talk to your kids about what’s going on in your life or their life, the potential for the bonds you guys share to weaken increases. If you’re just starting a child custody case in family court, talking to your children is essential. If you’re scratching your head about the best way to go about addressing the issue of your divorce and custody dispute with your child, here are some tips to improve communication and build stronger emotional bonds as both of you go through this issue together.

  • Tell The Truth. Growing up I was always told that I would never be punished for telling the truth. Being honest and up front with your kids is a great way to establish trust in your relationship. Children know more than their parents may think they know. With this in mind, not telling your kids about things that may or may not affect them could lead them to think that you don’t tell them everything because you don’t trust them or they did something wrong; this is especially true for younger children. For a child, not knowing that your parents are splitting up and hearing hushed arguments late at night can throw off their entire perspective of things. If they come to you and ask why you and mom are fighting, tell them what’s going on. This doesn’t mean they need to know every detail of your divorce or the names that you may call each other but having a general notion for them to mull over in their minds can help keep their feet on the ground.
  •  Ask The Bigger Questions. Children are still learning to express their emotions and when they are feeling increased amounts of stress or anxiety, they tend to express these things through their behavior at home or school. If you notice them in a bad mood all of a sudden, uncommunicative or acting out in ways that are abnormal for them, sit down and have a talk with them and see what’s going on. Often times, what’s bothering people, especially children, will come right to the forefront of the conversation; being able to read in between the lines can also be helpful for you if you’re looking to address your child’s concerns. They’ll let you know what’s wrong; it’s up to you to properly handle their concerns or fears.

Communication can be difficult if you’re separated from your child by long distance. In this modern world we find ourselves in, it’s not uncommon for parents, especially if they’re already separated from their spouse, to hold jobs that are far away from where their children live. This can take a toll on the relationship you have with them and can push both of you away from each other. Maintaining these lines of communication is crucial to remain close to your children. With the advent of the internet and wireless communication at our fingertips, staying in touch with your kids is easier than ever. People separated by entire oceans are able to have face to face conversations through the use of computers and communication software such as Skype. The bottom line is this, do whatever you have to do stay in contact with your children and let them know that you’re a part of their life just as they’re a part of yours. Having this knowledge will help them cope with the changes that are going to take place during your family legal dispute.

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Posted in A Childs Best Interests, child custody battles, Children, Divorce, Family Court, Parenting Tips
5 comments on “How To Successfully Talk To Your Children During Your Divorce
  1. Such an important topic. I am very big on telling my son the truth, and at the same time, there are some questions I do not wish to answer with the truth but I won’t lie to him – it becomes a very difficult situation for me. On divorce details that he doesn’t need to know about (as I think it can only hurt him) I have mastered the art of deflection, redirection and incomplete replies…so far it has worked. lol

  2. MyDadandI says:

    Oh – I really think you have hit the button on this one. You speak the same language as an organization that supports both children and adults with divorce and separation – Rainbows International. ( Bravo!

  3. reocochran says:

    This is a good post for information on many child rearing subjects, especially ones in divorce or other legal situations. I hope many parents who are not sure of themselves will review all the choices of fine reading subjects so they can be better parents. The children need informed and calm, rational parents, especially in such stressful situations! Thanks for checking out some of my stories and “liking” them!

  4. dewayne says:

    yes im a father of 4 kids and i dont get 2 see them too much at this present time and the mother is being really hard to get along with and see puts me down in front of the kids and the kids dont need that but any way i need some help if any can help i miss my trail date for the kids and the judge gave her everything

    • This is an issue a lot of fathers out there deal with every day. You’re definitely not alone in this. Getting a court order that outlines a custody or visitation plan is a great way to ensure that you get to spend the time you need with your kids. Trying to maintain positive communication with your ex is a really important step in all this but not everyone can get along. If she’s putting you down in front of the kids, this can be harmful to them and the overall relationship of the family. Please contact us so you can speak with one of our representatives about getting some help so you can get your story in front of the judge.

      (800) 787-4981

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