What To Do After A Divorce And Custody Battle

Behind The Scenes Of Family Law

            A lot of people will tell you to move on with your life and get back to normal after your divorce is finalized and the last court date has been attended. The thing about advice is this, everyone has some for you; the question is should you heed it or not. Getting things back to the way they were isn’t really an option in a divorce and custody battle. Splitting up the family and rearranging things is something that affects everyone and changes the way they live their lives and the people they associate with; it’s not uncommon for people to lose a few friends after their divorce. Regardless of your situation, there are things you do to help yourself get everything back on track.

  • Time To Think. You might have a lot of anger about your divorce, but anger often times comes from sadness. It’s important to get to the root of what you’re feeling so you can manage your thoughts and begin to heal yourself. A lot of fathers out there get taken unawares by their former spouses and feel really down about the whole thing. After all, this was the person you had a child with and were trying to build and maintain a family with. What’s done is done though. You’re separated, you have some kind of shared custody schedule and now you have to make do with what you have. This can be a wake up all for a lot of parents out there to do something different with their lives; this might mean a change of career, change of venue or just a shift in their own conscious perspective of the world.
  • Don’t Rush Back Into Things. A lot of people that get divorced feel it’s necessary to get back into the dating scene so as not to have too much downtime and get back to normal life and start dating again. Jumping back into this too quickly can have negative consequences however. Lots of time people want to find a new romantic partner to fill the gap in their lives. This can really affect your children if everything is still fresh. Younger children have the tendency to think that they’re mother or father is being replaced and older children might rebel against this new person in their life. The bottom line is they want things to go back to the way they were, and that’s just not going to happen. Communicating with them about this kind of stuff works better than leaving it alone and hoping they will forget about it and move on. Avoiding the subject is the opposite of what you should do with them.

There are a lot of changes happening within the family. Rather than focusing on the way things used to be, try focusing on starting a new chapter in your lives. Going from a family oriented household to being a single parent is like being thrown into quick sand; the more you thrash around the deeper you get pulled down. This could be an excellent time to spend some much needed alone time with yourself and your children; speaking from experience, there is a silver lining to a big life event like this. An important reminder to keep in your head is to not jump into things because you feel like you should. This is a dangerous way of living and can amount to you being engaged in things that you don’t really want to do with the end result of you being unhappy. Take your time and have patience.


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Posted in Child Custody, Children, Divorce, Family, Parenting Tips, Raising Children
3 comments on “What To Do After A Divorce And Custody Battle
  1. […] What To Do After A Divorce And Custody Battle (aboutthechildrenblog.com) […]

  2. […] What To Do After A Divorce And Custody Battle (aboutthechildrenblog.com) […]

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