How To Effectively Talk To Your Ex In Family Law And Get Custody Of Your Children

How To Communicate In High Stress Situations


            Being able to talk rationally to your ex or their attorney in a family legal situation is going to help you more in your case than any high priced lawyer out there. When going into a family legal court case, one of the most important things to remember is that the judge is going to make his/her decision based on the best interests of the child. If you are unable to communicate properly with your ex about what’s best for the child and end up fighting with one another or simply cannot come to any reasonable understanding, this will affect your case and this also shows the judge that you can’t look past your own issues and concentrate on your kids’ well being. That being said, there are ways to maintain positive lines of communication and effectively handle the situation without turning this into a screaming match and ensure that everyone’s needs are heard and properly addressed.

  • Put Everything Else Aside. Having a family legal issue doesn’t necessarily mean you’re going to court over the issue, in all reality this should be a last resort to enforce something that’s best for your kids; alas this is sometimes necessary though. If peace talks have failed and you find yourself filing a petition with your local court house, being able to remain calm and collected is going to be a good thing to practice in the days leading up to your court date. Obviously, sometimes you just can’t get along with your ex and some people are simply unreasonable about trying to be nice and work towards a common goal. In cases like this, it might be a good idea to involve a third party to help facilitate the process of communication. There are professional mediators that are well versed in this kind of work.
  • Strategies For Better Results. This may time some time and conviction but if you can have a calm conversation with your ex about what kind of custody or visitation arrangement works best for everyone then all parties involved will be much happier because the result will be one that everyone agrees upon rather than a decision that a judge makes based on the circumstances of the case. One thing you can do is take turns talking to one another. Even if your ex is saying things that stir up anger or sadness in you, let them say what they’re going to say. Once they’re done, you can say what you feel you need to say. This doesn’t mean that this opens the floor up for senseless name calling or finger pointing. This is supposed to be a constructive process that allows for some needs to be met and maybe even a little healing if your break up or divorce was a little rocky.


When everyone is working together in family law, the children truly benefit from the result of your negotiations or whatever court order is produced in the court room. Putting our own wants and desires aside can be difficult. Sometimes the best interests of the children and what you want out of the situation can get blurred together and it can hard to distinguish between the two. It’s important to remember that your children need both parents in their life. Separating the other parent from the child should only be done under extreme circumstances; this is how the judge will see it as well if you decide to go to court over the issue of divorce, custody or visitation. Talk to a local attorney or parent’s rights organization that can assist you in your family law issue.

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Posted in A Childs Best Interests, Child Custody, Child Visitation, Children, Divorce, Family Court, Joint Custody, Mediation, Parenting Plans

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