Aint No Cure For The Summertime Blues
A lot of separated parents out there may find themselves in a bit of a pickle during these hot summer months. Some families are separated by great distances and thus one parent may have the children during the school year and the other may have them over the summer due to the distance between everyone. It’s not uncommon for a parent to be reluctant to let them go for the summer or return them to the other parent. In some cases parents hear accounts from their kids that make them question whether it’s a good idea to let them go back to the parent that has them during the school year due to drop in grades, the other parent engaging in a new relationship that they might think is bad for the child to be around etc. Other parents might be faced with a difficult transition period for the children; after all spending the majority of the year at home and then having to go to another town to live for a few months, this can be hard on your kids and they might even display some resistance to the idea. Here are some ideas for parents out there are reading this and nodding their heads.
Reluctant To Let Them Leave. Some of the parents that call us regarding custody of their children have concerns about letting their children go back to the mother or father’s house if they have a parenting schedule that dictates the time they spend with each parent to be a longer period of time rather than switching off throughout the week. Some of their concerns are driven by what they hear from the kids such as mom or dad drinking excessively, not helping with homework or, if they’re the summer parent, their house is the wild west and there are no rules for the children to adhere to; upon return to the other parents house for the start of school they could potentially be unruly and accustomed to not having to follow many rules, if any. In some cases, it might be practical to modify the custody or visitation schedule that dictates the time the kids spend with each of you guys. In cases like this, you need a pretty good reason to change your court order. If you feel this is necessary, talk to a legal professional that can tell you what you can potentially do.
Transition. Routine is good for children in general. Getting used to our environment helps us develop judgments about our surroundings and how to act in different contexts. Changing this up can be harder for some kids than others. Being separated from their mother or father can be difficult enough, and sometimes extended time apart can change the dynamic of the relationship. Your kids might show up for summer having changed dramatically and there could be some awkwardness involved; you might have to get to know your son or daughter again. This is especially true if they are approaching those teenage years and they want to be with their friends instead of go to another house. As a parent it’s your job to help them with this kind of stuff, even if they fight you a little. The bottom line is you have to communicate with them, a lot, even if they don’t want to.
Read more at –> www.AboutTheChildren.org
1 (800) 787-4981
- Parenting Grown Children After Divorce (aboutthechildrenblog.com)