Getting Back In The Saddle
The fact of the matter is that you don’t want to be single forever after you split up from your previous spouse whom you shared a life and a child with. People are going to meet other people and the cycle of human life will continue. However, in a family legal situation involving divorce and an ensuing custody battle, there is a graceful way to introduce a new person in your life to your children without causing them any stress or making them feel uncomfortable. Getting back into the dating scene is difficult enough if you’ve been out of the game for awhile, the people who have gone from being married for many years to single, I’m sure, are nodding their heads; But having your kids being negatively affected by all this will cause some unnecessary stress in everyone’s lives. Here are a couple tips for you parents out there who are dealing with a similar situation.
Don’t Assume Anything. Making assumptions about how people are feeling gets people into trouble every day; this is doubly so for your children. If you’ve just broken up with your ex wife or husband, odds are your kids are reeling from the experience of seeing their parents go through a legal battle and some possible negative feelings you guys might harbor towards each other. If you want to find out how you kids feel about you seeing another man or woman in a romantic sense, the best way is to talk to them about it, no brainer right? If nobody is talking to each other about this, then things can get confused real fast.
If It Feels Like Things Are Moving Too Fast, It’s Probably Because They Are. People cope with this kind of stuff in different ways. A lot of people have what are commonly referred to as “rebound relationships” where they feel the need to fill the empty spot their ex occupied in their lives in order to feel like things are normal again. The fact remains that if you get a divorce, have a custody battle with your kids’ mom and start bringing a new woman around a month later, your kids will probably freak out. Look for behavior patterns that seem unusual to you. If you’re child is usually peppy, running around and playing outside and all of sudden seems a little lackluster or just depressed in general and you have introduced a new element in their lives, it’s time to take inventory of everything and think about whether or not you should be doing what you’re doing.
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