9 Things to Say to Help Someone Going Through A Divorce
Divorce is never fun. Even if you’re the one who initiated the divorce it is a very uncertain and stressful time. This is usually amplified by friends and family who feel they are walking on eggshells around them, not knowing what to say. Hearing not only positive support from the ones they love but sense of connection can really help in these tough times.
There is no universal thing you can say to someone going through a divorce to make them feel better but there are several things that you can say to pick up their spirits and let them know you care.
- “Can I go with you?”- For many of us that have had someone attached to our arms for almost every waking moment suddenly being alone can be overwhelming. Especially if you are attending an event like a wedding or funeral. A little extra support can make all the difference.
- “I love you”- It is basic nature to feel wanted and loved. When going through a divorce we can lose sight of this fact and slip into a self destructive path of feeling not good enough. A simple “I love you” is a great reminder that there is someone out there who still cares.
- “Do you need anything?”- A simple gesture of kindness can mean everything to someone going through this hardship. It can be as easy as picking up some food and bringing it over or helping your friend look up new places to live. Anything to really help take a little stress off their shoulders
- “I’m on your side!”- One of the most important things you can do is show support for your friend going through the divorce. Even if you don’t believe they are not at fault it is best to reassure them they that you are on their side. What else friends are for?
- “You’re not a bad person.” – In any divorce there is a lot of blame being thrown around. A simple reassurance that it’s not their fault and just a horrible situation can help them make it though the day.
- “Divorce sucks!”- Often we get caught up in our own doings and forget that other people have gone though the same situation before. Talk to someone going through a divorce and let them know you understand how difficult and stressful it can be to be in their shoes.
- “Need help reestablishing yourself?”- When people are newly divorced they often have to take over aspects of their life that was previously handled by the other partner. If you were the breadwinner before you might be lacking in assorted household tasks and what needs to be done. On the other hand if you were the stay at home parent you might be new to finances and budgeting. Guiding someone though this process can be a great weight off their shoulders.
- “Take it step by step”– While going through the divorce there are many things on their plate to handle. Often with court dates, child custody, moving, and taking over responsibilities they didn’t have before; it’s easy to become overwhelmed. Reminding your friend that everything will be accomplished in time and to take it step by step is the best way.
- “You’re not alone”- It is very helpful to remind your friend they are not alone and that others have been in their exact spot before. Divorce takes its emotional and physical tolls and knowing others have pulled though the same situation is usually helpful.
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