A Little Change Will Do You Good
Family issues bring with them a lot of unwanted stress and anxiety that, over time, can really bring you and the rest of the family down and make what may be a small issue into a bigger problem. Taking drastic action such as hiring a lawyer and going to court and walking down that road, isn’t always necessary. Sometimes working it out between the two of you is really the ideal solution to go for. There are a few different strategies for this, some work, some don’t, but not all potential family court issues are alike and need to be approached differently. What follows is a guide to help parents figure out the best way to approach their inter-family problems in a positive way.
- Keep It Simple. We all know that it’s really easy to turn a small problem into a more complicated one if you approach the situation in the wrong way. This is kind of like digging a hole, you want to make sure that you don’t dig so deep that you can’t get out, or the dirt you’ve put to the side doesn’t fall back in. Metaphors aside, make a plan to talk about the situation and keep it simple. You might want to start by getting a piece of paper and outlining what your concerns are. Try putting them in order from largest to smallest to gain some perspective on the subject. You might find out that the problem you thought was taller than a mountain really is no bigger than an anthill. Another way to go about it is calling some kind of meeting together between you and the parties involved. This might be you and your ex wife or current spouse if you’re not separated. Or it might be between you and the grandparents. Most of the time, the majority of our problems can be resolved by just talking it out. Voice your concerns, let them voice theirs and see if you can reach some kind of agreement. Whether this is about meeting halfway to pick the children up on the weekend you’re supposed to get them (if you live far away from them) or a school related issue, work it out between you two before taking legal action.
- Are Your Kids On Board? This is something that a lot of parents that are dealing with a family issue overlook which is the fact that your kids, if they’re old enough, might have an opinion on the subject as well. This is a fine line to walk as a parent. You don’t want to put them in the middle of the situation if you and the other parent are fighting but you don’t want to completely exclude them from the issue either. They are, after all, part of this whole thing. Their feelings need to be addressed as well. Are they upset? Are they angry? Are they sad? Sometimes with kids it’s hard to tell what they’re feeling because they’re still developing and I’m assuming that most people aren’t experts in child behavior traits. However, as a parent you know your kids through and through. Look for changes in their behavior. If they spend all their time in their room, their grades start to drop in school or they don’t want to play with their friends, you need to talk to them and let them know what’s going on. It doesn’t have to be a huge deal, it can be a casual discussion about what they’ve noticed, how it’d made them feel and what the reality of the situation is. The bottom line is that they need to know that if the family structure needs to change, that your relationship with them will not.
Throughout all this you might find it difficult to keep a cool head. It’s easy to get angry about a situation if you feel like you’re not being listened to or taken advantage of or that your kids aren’t in a good place literally or figuratively. If the issue is big enough to go to court over, then you need to take the proper steps. However, keep in mind the benefits of resolving the issue outside of the court room; working things out between you guys can in fact strengthen your relationship and on the practical side of things, it can save you a lot of time and money that you would otherwise spend on legal fees.
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