Taking Cues From Your Kids
Young children often have a language of their own and it’s up to you, as their parent, to look for certain clues as to what emotional issues they are experiencing. In a divorce or custody battle, most parents make an effort to shield their children from the whole situation so the kids don’t have to deal with any of the stress that’s flying around during these kinds of cases. Despite our efforts to protect our children, they still get affected by what’s going on and it can be hard to tell what’s going through their heads in those young years because they’re brains and emotions are still developing and they’re still figuring out how to deal with them and process what’s going on in their minds and bodies. The bottom line is that it makes it hard for you as a parent to know what to look for and how to help them cope with the fact that they’re parents are splitting up. Here are a couple tips for this kind of thing.
Body Language. Nonverbal cues are crucial for observing most children before they reach puberty age. Because younger kids are still learning to communicate, verbally or otherwise, they may not be able to express what they’re feeling in words like you and I can. So how can you tell what your child is going through emotionally? You need to look for clues in the way they behave. Small changes in the way they play with their toys can be an indicator of some kind of trouble they’re experiencing. If they went from dressing up their stuffed animals to acting out violent scenes with them, this might mean that something is wrong. Obviously children imitate what they’re seeing so this could be from television, video games or from seeing other people act that way. If they’re performance in school goes south, this might also be a clue that something is wrong. Other behavioral signs can include how they interact with their friends or how they utilize their free time at home. A child that goes from being happy and mischievous at home to quiet and reserved is obviously experiencing something that is too much for them and the problem needs to be addressed.
What You Can Do. You’re not helpless in this kind of situation. Often time’s parents misinterpret their child’s behavior and don’t properly confront the issue. For example, a child that cries when they have to go to their mom or dad’s house for the weekend. This doesn’t necessarily mean that they don’t want to go to the other parent’s house, or that they don’t feel comfortable there. Often times this is just a result of some sort of separation anxiety, which is very common in a divorce scenario. Kids go from having a family unit to living in two different households with their parents who may or may not have new partners and this can be stressful. Simply talking to them and making sure they are comfortable and well loved is the best medicine here. Keeping them busy with fun activities in and out of the house is a great way to keep their mind off of the problems within the family and onto normal everyday things.
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Reblogged this on survivorsjustice and commented:
It is most important we become aware of the issues of stress that DO effect our children when going through a divorce or custody battle. Many times I’ve experienced myself, or heard, the nightmare battles to cover parental rights or child support, but rarely does our justice system ever take into account OUR CHILDREN’S VOICE. Rarely do parents remember it is about the child and not the divorce, it is about what is best for that child and that would be for both parents to ensure the child feels the love & support continuing throughout their life despite what the two adults who created them are going through. It is not about who has more power over the child, but about what the child feels. Its not about how much you hate or dislike that other person, you still made a person together and together is how the child should be raised. EVERY CHILD SHOULD KNOW THE LOVE & SUPPORT OF AN ENTIRE FAMILY, NOT JUST WHO IS BATTLING FOR WHAT CONTROL IN THEIR YOUNG LIVES. just my thoughts, great read & yes it is about time we focus on ABOUT THE CHILD!!! great stuff 🙂
Thanks for the re-blog and the compliment! Keep following us on here for more articles on family court issues. Thank you.