Tips For Single Parents
There’s a lot of information out there for single parents that have gone through divorces and are trying to pick up the pieces or for those that are just beginning the process of separation. Once you’ve gone through your separation or divorce, you might be at a loss as to how to fill the gap that has been left over and how to help your kids cope with the change that has taken place in your lives. A lot of children will react in a variety of different ways; some more extreme than others. It’s important to know how to deal with the behavioral reactions your child may go through, methods of coping for yourself and how to spend the quality time you get with your children. It may seem like no brainer stuff but it’s good to have a few extra ideas to throw into the mix. Here are a few tips for you newbies and veterans of parenting across the country.
Coping With Change. Splitting up the family is going to be hard. Even if you’re glad to be separated from your ex, you still might be sad to think about what you’ve left behind. But your kids are the ones that are going to have the most difficult time because they’re lives are going to be turned upside down by having their parents split up, move to different houses and potentially get involved with new romantic partners later on down the line. First off, your children need to understand what’s happening and why. They don’t need to know every detail of the nature of separation but they need to know what is going to happen and that really nothing is changing just that their mom or dad is going to live in a different house. Going from one house to the other can be difficult to get used to. And speaking from experience, it’s sometimes best to just let them decide for themselves. This has good and bad properties to it. The good side is that they don’t feel like they’re being fought over. Often times in a custody battle it becomes exactly that, a battle, and it’s not a good feeling to have your parents fighting over you and being forced to go to one of their houses on a certain day. The negative side of letting them choose for themselves where they want to go for the weekend is that they might feel pressure to not let one of you guys down or make you feel bad for not choosing your house over the other parent’s. This problem is easier to fix than the other, however, by talking to your kids and sharing your feelings.
Keep Them Busy. This disruption within the family can be hard on everyone. It’s important to keep your child’s mind on something normal. The idea here is that you don’t want this to affect their childhood anymore than it has to. Divorce is more of a common thing within our society than it was sixty years ago, and your child might even have friends with divorced parents which might make it easier for them to relate to each other, this can be an unlikely kind of bond that friends can share. However, keeping up the routine is important in this situation. Regular sleeping and eating schedules are crucial to maintain. It’s easy to get depressed and just order pizza and stay up all night watching infomercials. But this is not good. You and your kids need to get things back on track, even if you’re in the throes of the divorce itself. Go to the movies. Go to the park. Listen to some music and play in the back yard. Even something small can have a big impact on everyone’s psyche.
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