New Questions & Difficult Decisions
Family law is filled with ups and downs, twists and turns and horror stories about parents being treated unfairly in the court room. There are also great success stories about families being kept together and bonds being strengthened despite the odds they perceive to be against them in the court room. Life is not something that sits still, it’s always moving. What’s important is to know how and when to move with things. Family law is no different. Here is some friendly non-legal advice for parents thinking about their future or parents that feel like they’re in the middle of a storm with no lantern to see the way through.
If you’re in a relationship that’s no longer working, perhaps it didn’t really work out to begin with but you stuck around because of the child and the small life you guys shared, you might be asking yourself some difficult questions: How will I support myself and my son or daughter after a divorce? What rights do I have? What rights do they have? Where do I begin? Rest assured, the majority of parents that have gone to court over a custody, visitation or divorce issue have asked themselves those very same questions. Getting the right information is key and acting in a timely manner doesn’t hurt either.
You might also be someone who has been dealing with this for a few years and haven’t really seen any results come out of this, meanwhile legal fees and debt could potentially be stacking up around you. It’s easy to feel overwhelmed, trapped or even feel like the whole system is against you with something like this. One of the most crucial pieces of advice anyone can give you though, is to not give up. Never tell yourself no. Feeling like the judge won’t listen to you, or that your case won’t go very far because your ex has a better lawyer are all things that real people deal with on a daily basis. The best defense you have against feelings and scenarios like this is knowledge, and the right kind of knowledge.
In family court, what really matters is what is written down in black and white. Forget all the episodes of those crime drama shows on television. Family law is fact driven and the judge’s ruling and what gets written down on your court order for custody, visitation or guardianship is going to count on the facts that are presented in the court room. If your ex is saying you’re mentally unstable and can’t care for the kids properly, prove them wrong. If the father has been abusive to you and the children, have something to back it up. Keep in mind that a domestic argument in the court room is not what needs to happen, nor is it productive. You need to present what you have when it’s your turn to speak and in a logical manner.
While the court process can be expensive and time consuming, it doesn’t necessarily have to be. An attorney who specializes in family law is an excellent resource to have on your side, however they can be costly. It is possible to represent yourself and it’s important to know how to do this if you decide to go in that direction. There are quite a few online resources, national organizations and services for people to make use of; it’s really a matter of finding them and seeing if they’re the right people to assist you with your family law issue. Start now.
Learn how at –> www.AboutTheChildren.org
(800) 787-4981
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Hi I recently moved from the state of Ohio to the state of California ,I have a 4 year old son and am an unwed mother, in the state of Ohio an unwed mom is considered the custodial parent, my sons father has been in and out of my sons life, while I lived in Ohio, at one point he moved to the state of Washington to live with his brother and work, while my sons father moved away, I made plans to move to California to be closer to my parents , my sons father moved back to Ohio before I moved, when I tried telling him I was moving, he didn’t want to hear it, I tried talking to him about it several times and he would always get upset and tell me no…..I contacted the courts to see if I could file anything to protect my self before I moved, I was once again informed that if there was no court order, I was considered the custodial parent and could move out of state at any time, I have since moved without fathers consent, I now reside in the state of California, he has threatened to fight for our son and get custody, I am allowing my son to visit with him and his family in a couple of months but I am afraid he will at that time keep my son away from me or file something in court in the state of Ohio, what are my rights? I moved to California in March , he moved back back from Washington in January, was gone for about 4 months. Please help
Hi Tina, this is a very common issue that we help with frequently. You’re definitely not alone in this matter, however your worries about your son’s father are not unfounded. Typically, from our experience working with families for over a decade, you need to wait at least 6 months to become a resident of the state you’re in. So in your case, you would have to file in Ohio if you wanted to take this to court at this time. If you wait a little longer, you would be able to file in California. Our company can assist in 47 out of the 50 states; Ohio being one of the 3 we can’t work in. So we would not be able to prepare court documents for that state for you. However, you do have options and rights to enforce, it’s just a matter of finding the right kind of help. In your particular situation, it might be a good idea to get something in court before your ex does. If you think he’s the kind of person who is going to make this difficult, this is even more important. Keep following our blog for more information on family court issues and tips for going through the process. If you decide to wait to file in California, please give us a call to speak to a representative. Thanks for writing to us. Good luck in your case.
(800) 787-4981
I RECENTLY LOST CUSTODY OF MY 6 YEAR OLD SON IN CALIFORNIA. FIRST THE MOM TOOK HIM WELL OVER 2,000 MILES WITHOUT TELLING ME OR ANYONE ELSE EMERGENCY ODER FOR THEM TO COME BACK AND CHILD REMAIN IN THE COUNTY MOM LEAVES SON WITH ME TO BACK. COMING BACK 6 TIMES FOR COURT. SHE HAD A LAWYER I DIDNT. IN THE END THE RESPONDENT CLAIMED THAT I WAS AN ABSENT FATHER FOR TWO AND A HLAF YEARS WITCH WAS NOT THE CASE. I SEEN OR SPOKE WITH MY SON AT LEAST ONCE A WEEK TILL THE LAST 6 MONTHS WHERE I HAD LITTLE TO NO CONTACT WITH HIM. THATS WHEN I FILE FOR CUSTODY. ALL I WAS FILLING FOR WAS MY WEEKENDS BC THE MOTHER WOULD NOT ANSWER FOR ME. SHE COUGHT WIND AND LEFT. I WAS REPRESENTING MYSELF SHE HAD AN EXPENSIVE LAWYER IM LEFT WITH LIBERAL VISITATION NOW. THERE NEVER WAS A TRIAL EVIDENCE WAS NOT SEEN OR HEARD HER PART OR MINE BC I DIDNT SPEAK UP WHEN I WAS SUPPOSED TO I GUESS, REALLY THE JUDGE WAS JUST TALKING TO HER LAWYER. THE JUDGE HEARD ME OUT BUT STILL LET MY SON LEAVE. THE MOTHER WALKED ALL OVER ME EVEN WHEN SHE CAME BACK AND IT WAS MY DAY ACCOURDING TO WHAT THE JUDGE HAD RULED PRIOR TO OUR HEARING DATE WOULD TAKE MY SON ON MY DAY SEVERAL TIMES, A POLICE REPORT WAS MADE BY ME THINKING THIS WOULD HELP IN MY FAVOR THUS PROVING MOM DID NOT CARE SHE COULD DO WHAT SHE WANTED. I WASNT GIVIN A FAIR TRIAL AT ALL IS THERE ANYTHING I CAN DO. ITS BEEN ABOUT THREE WEEKS SINCE.
Hello Rich, unfortunately this is a common story we hear from fathers all the time. All too frequently dad’s feel like they are taken advantage of in the court room and don’t get the time their kids need with them. We can’t give you any legal advice because we’re not a law firm but in family court all you need is the right documentation to go to court with to get the issue resolved. If you just went to court though, going back this early in the game would technically make your case into what’s called an appeal. Our company is set up to help parents start the process or modify something that’s been in place for awhile. Contacting a legal professional would probably be in your best interests at this point. There is a ton of information out there on the internet to help fathers do exactly what you’re trying to do and you’ll find that you’re definitely not alone. Keep following us for more helpful tips. We wish you the best of success. Thank you for writing to us.
(800) 787-4981