Who Is Really Affected Here?
When you’re in the middle of a divorce or custody battle, it can be hard to see the splash damage done by the actions you and your ex, or soon to be ex, are causing around you. What people sometimes forget, and what is often times right under your nose, is that the children you are fighting for and trying to protect are the ones that can potentially suffer through the whole court process. The problem is that we get so wrapped up in the mission at hand, whether it’s going to court, finding the right attorney or trying to find all the money required to do this, that we can’t see how this is affecting the kids. Young children and older children will have different reactions to this. It’s important to know what to look for and how you can tell if you’re kids are troubled by all this. (Hint, if they don’t appear phased by you divorcing their mother and fighting for custody, it doesn’t necessarily mean nothing is wrong). Here are a couple tips on what to look for in a case involving a custody and visitation dispute or a divorce.
- Watch Their Behavior. Younger children are still developing their minds, bodies and social and communication skills. The majority of young children won’t know how to express their feelings in a direct way such as an adult would. Although even in adults you can be left guessing all the same. Body language in young children and overall attitude and behavior are critical to keep an eye on. Notice how they play with their toys when they’re at home or how they play with their friends from school. If they’re playing more aggressively or lack enthusiasm in their play time, this might be an indication that something is up and you need to comfort them.
- Bring Them Closer To You But Not In Harm’s Way. It’s a difficult line to walk to be sure. However, you need to support each other through this difficult time ahead. If you’re a mother seeking custody of your 13 year old child, and the father is being aggressive and making threats about you or your child, talking to your kids about what is happening is a fine line between full disclosure about the situation and censoring some of it to protect them; this might be especially important if the other parent is abusive in some way. There’s really no substitute for love. And in a family law situation, you and your kids need all the love you can get.
The bottom line is that family court can get pretty messy. There are a lot of emotions flying around and it can be difficult to keep your cool and still maintain the relationships in your life. Especially if you feel like things are crumbling around you. The best thing to do is keep your wits about you and keep moving forward. Eventually the storm will pass and things will work out as they should.
Find Out More –> www.AboutTheChildren.org