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My 5 yr old daughter lives with her dads mother, she has temporary guardianship after both the father and myself got into some trouble. Its been two years now and the grandmother only lets me visit with her 1 1/2 hrs a week in a public place supervised by her. we had agreed in court to work towards longer more often and unsupervised visits working up to standard parenting time. every time I ask her about upgrading the visitations she shuts me down. I am stable and ready to have my baby back. The grandmother is being non-compliant. My daughter asks me every week, why cant she come to my house or spend more time with her sister and cousins. I need an attorney but am on disability and can’t afford one. plus i know from experience representing yourself gets you no respect. could somebody please help?
It is great that you are working towards straightening and making things more stable in your life now. Does the grandmother still only have temporary guardianship and when was the last time you were in court regarding this issue?
In most cases, really the best way to address this is to get back into court and request for custody of your daughter. If you are unable to afford the services of an attorney, often times your local county court has a family law facilitator that helps parents who are representing themselves with these types of family court matters. I know it can be intimidating representing yourself with any situation. You should be comforted to know that it is actually very common, especially now, to represent yourself in family court. Judges see many people represent themselves a week in their court rooms.
We would like to see how else we can assist you with this, please contact us when you.
id like to ask you a question my daughter got into a mess but long story short had a baby boy nine weeks early and the state took custody of him give no one time to even get him in our family my daughter is so upseat and depressed that shes not in her right mind is there any sugestions yu can give me to get him back to our family he is in foster care as of today
Once the state is involved you will have to work with them to prove that you are a fit placement for the child. Sounds like this is a recently opened case and there is probably an open investigation at this time. I would encourage your daughter to getting herself in order, a psych evaluation will most likely take place as part of the investigation. Has your family spoken with a local attorney about this, if not I encourage you to do so.
Work with the state as best you can to prove that your daughter is a fit parent and capable of caring for her newborn.
Is this a reputable company? I did not find a listing for it in Los Angeles, CA
Great question. We have been around for the last 4 years and our staff has collectively over 15 years of experience in helping parents with these kinds of matters. We look forward to helping you any way we can!
I am a grandmother and I have a son and a daughter who have children, My son has one girl who is about 2 and my daughter has 2 one, girl who is 7yr and a new baby about a couple months old. My problem is I am close to my granddaughter 7 yr but my sons wife has refused to let me see my other granddaughter (son’s) and has now caused trouble with my daugher and now I can’t see any of them. What can I do to get to see my grandchildren? My children refuses to talk to me and now hate me. I was a good parent and thought I raised my children well but I cant see why they are treating me this way. I would like to get visitation rights but the only grandchild I have actually had visits with is my 7 yr old grand daughter and they live 5 hours away so that has only when work and other times allowed. The son’s wife and mother in law has not wanted me to be a part of the grand daughters life since day one and has pitted my son against me and his “other” family since day one now my daughter whom I was close to is involved. My son now said he is not letting me see my grand daughter and I dont know what to do anymore. I need some advice and support in how to resolve this.
Concerned Grand parent
It is disheartening to hear that even your son is refusing your ability to see your grand children. Which state do you and your grand children reside in? Has the 7 year old ever lived with you in your home for at least 1 year?
Often times, if the two parents are alive and completely involved in the children’s lives, it is up to them whether they want to let you see their kids. Unless one of the parents is incarcerated, deceased, or completely out of the picture, it unfortunately is difficult to receive visitation as a grand parent.
My friend often leave her children home alone. the children are 12 eight and five the five year old have seizures.My concern is when the eight and five yr old come home from school they are alone until the 12 yr old get there.My friend often spend the night with her boyfriend so the children are alone sometime day and night.Would i be wrong for calling CPS?My concern are the children
It would be highly plausible to consider contacting CPS about your friend’s children’s situation. Sorry to say, but it sounds like she is completely irresponsible to be living young children home alone, not just during the day but additionally at night.
She may lose her kids, but if an emergency occurred while she wasn’t present it could be very dangerous for the children.
Hopefully you gained some insight on what to do next.
i think not our concern is to take care of the one who can not protect themselves, id wait till night when i know shes gone call the local police then they will know for sure its against the law to leave any child home after ten at night under eighteen, my advice is just that the children in this situation are being hurt and in danger what if the house catches on fire? ill pray for these children!!!! and please protect them as they deserve to be, they are to little to do it on there own someone needs to help them,your not doing the wrong thing in my eyes at all ,you may save there lives, i hope that you do…. prayers for you and those children……………………………….
My husband and I have been separated for a year. He moved 5 hours away. In the past year I have done everything in my power to help him see our kids. Including him staying here. Recently, we decided I would bring kids to his house and we would all have Thanksgiving together. A few days ago he called me and we got into an arguement because he said I wasn’t doing all I could to be a great mom. Keep in mind he hasn’t helped me at all, and has only come to see them a few times. During the conversation, he threatened to come take the kids and not bring them back. I got scared because he wasn’t acting normaland wasn’t sure what he would do. I filed child support so can get visitation order in place. I am also currently trying to find a lawyer to file divorce without having to pay 6000 retainer. I did speak to a lawyer that advised me not to hand kids over to him for visitation until an order is in place. Told me to allow ex to come to my house for a few hours for visitation. My ex is now heart broken and hates me because I won’t let him take kids to his house. I just need help getting an order in place so kids can see their dad without me worrying he gonna take off with them.
As a concerned parent you are wise to heed caution when allowing the father visitation with your children, since it sounds like he may be unpredictable at this point in time. Establishing a well defined court order for custody and visitation is absolutely necessary to protect your rights and the condition of your children. When parents live far away from one another it is especially important to have an order in place.
Depending on what kind of assets you have among the two of you, we can help you with the family court related situation. Attorneys can provide excellent service, but of course the costs are significant. Let us know if you want our help in moving forward with you and your children’s situation.
I told my husband that I wanted a divorce because it got to the point where we didn’t get along and it seemed he didn’t want anything to do with me or our daughter. I busted my tail working 50 to 60 hours a week to make sure we were taken care of plus come home cook and clean and take care of my little girl while he stays at home, doesn’t work and tells my daughter to shut the “f” up when she cries for attention. Then the fights got to where one night he blacked my eye. Now he has taken my daughter and moved into his moms house and keeps her from me. I don’t know how to get her back and retainer fees are outrages. I now haven’t seen her in over a month and my heart can’t take it anymore. He still has no job and I worry about her. What do I do?
Signed, very determined mother
Did you take pictures of the domestic violence? Which state do reside in? Some states require individuals to already be divorced to file for custody of a child. Do you have any assets between the two of you, property, 401Ks, etc.?
I know this is challenging for you and your concerned for the well being of your daughter. We’d like to help you address this as much as we can. Please get back to us with more information about your situation.
I have a cps case and im fight to get my kids to come home.my case is a year old. This is my second one five years to this one. Cps told me if i complied and do all of my services that my kids will be returned . Well i did what was ask if me now they are trying to tell me that they want my kids to say where they are at,so i have a pertrail tommorrow. I didn’t abuse my kids or neglect them i had a substance abuse. I have been clean a year i moved and got a job.
Make sure when you appear in court that you have the proper documentation to confirm the steps you have completed over the past year. Typically the courts want to verify that a parent is completely fit and their residence is suitable for children. Be sure to show proof of this also in your hearing. Its great that you are employed and clean over a year. All this should help you look good in front of the courts.
My mother has permanent guardianship of my oldest daughter who is eight years old. I just completed a case plan for my youngest daughter and was reunified with her. I want to re-open my case for my oldest daughter so that I may be reunified with her, but everytime I mention it to my mother she makes false calls to CPS and then they start harrassing me again. It has been so stressful for me that we actually moved to Ohio to get away from the constant harrassment. I have passed multiple drugs tests and have complied with everything that they have asked. When is enough enough?? How can I re-open my case from out of state? I have custody of my two other children – so it is hard for me to understand why I shouldn’t be able to easily get my other daughter back. Please give me some kind of hope – I cry everyday that she is not with her family. My mother had agreed to let her visit for Christmas and then because of a disagreement she took the visit away. I am fearful that my daughter is going to be permanently traumatized from this. My mother also leaves my daughter alone with my 84 year old grandmother that can’t walk on her own and has a major heart condition. Please advise me as to what I should do.
Time for the games to end!
Its very good that you have your case closed with your younger daughter. Really, it comes down to serving your mom for custody of your oldest and getting back into court to get that signed by a judge.
You say that you have passed multiple drug tests. As long as there are no other pending qualifications or requirements that need to be completed you should be in the clear. Make sure that you are able to support both children and have proper living conditions in place. How long have you been in Ohio now, since you said you just moved?
Thanks for the “Like” and good luck.
As much as I would like to paint a positive view if the courts in general, my saga within the system is far more complex and sad. Being the male in this situation, I know what it feels like to have to go through this situation alone, without an attorney and with little assistance from this system. And I’m still fighting for some measure of respect, even though I’m not gaining much. With that said I must mention that this system is flawed and ruthless. It doesn’t care about the children as much as it tries to let on; its all about who’s outrageous claims the judge believes and which person shows up with a lawyer. If you are the person on the receiving end, your in for a world of pain, figuratively speaking, because the children you helped bring into this world are turned into pawns. Two things I have realized over the course of the last few years is this is big business for everyone not the parents and resolution in the best interests of everyone is not the goal. When you are allowed to hide behind a $300 an hour mouthpiece and literally come up with no ways of compromise to reach a satisfactory solution to problems you created does not, in my opinion, solve the issue. Even with the bigger picture in mind, telling people that obviously have issues to begin with to ‘work it out amongst yourselves and let us know what you come up with’ isn’t a recipe for success either. I guess what I am really trying to say is there isn’t any money in the cure…but the treatment…now that’s a different story….
What you just described is exactly why we are continuing to help parents with these types of issues. There is always going to be a need to help parents work through the court system as best they can. Your past experience is dully noted, and thank you for sharing.
Thanks for your blog; I wish I would’ve found it sooner.
Keep moving forward, every day is renewed and its a chance to make a difference no matter the situation.
Stay firm and continue being a good father as best you can.
Thanks for stopping by our blog.
Quick question?! I don’t have court ordered visitation with my 8 yr old son I get him bi weekly and I send his mother money each pay check. As from what I know this is what she’s living on. I know she’s still into drugs and hasn’t had her own stable environment for him to live in jumping from residence to family & friends house due to her lack of work. I break down when I have to bring him home he asks me everytime if he can just live with me. Ive asked him numerous times why ” Cause no one plays with me “. From what I assume she’s just tells him to go play outside by him self or she’ll be there in a bit which she never does. I just need to know how to go about handling this situation. Please and Thank you for any advice…
Good question. Just as a quick reminder, we are not a law firm and cannot provide you with any legal advice. The following is general information about family law and how typical parents usually go about dealing with these types of issues through the courts. You mentioned your son’s mother uses drugs, you will want to have some proof of that through police reports or doctor records. Right now, there are no court orders in place, so nothing is enforceable at this time. Depending on how far you currently live from your son, generally determines how much visitation time you can receive. Another reason to get into court for this, so a proper child support amount can be ordered. As of now anything that you have paid her is considered a gift by the courts. She could potentially bring you back to court for back support payments since he was born.
From what you have already stated, it seems you are in a more stable position than she is to care for your son. If you intend to go to court, this is something we can help you with and focus on. It is so important for not just yourself, but also your son, to get a court order in place in this kind of situation. Let us know if you have other questions about this and when you want to start this process. We support you how ever we can.
I like your blog. Its very informative and helpful to parents.
There was no help around in the 1960’s and if you were the father the chances of winning custody was almost nil. I won the custody of my daughter and thank God I did. A long time ago but I still feel the torment and fear that I could have lost her. Thanks for visiting my blog
Thank you for the “like” on my blog. I am a law student and family law is one of the areas I am most interested in. This looks like a great resource for parents dealing with family law issues.
Best of success to you and thank you for sharing an interest in family law. This area is one of the most rigorous due to its emotionally domestic nature. We’ll support you in the development of your practice.
My girlfriend and I have been together for 3 years.we have had 2 boys ages 2 and 1 month.she told me she didnt have feelingsand took the boys 3 hours away. We both want custody of 1 of the boys while the other have custody of the other but she is still married to somone from before we got together. we dont want to fight. we want to do this the easy way so we dont grow apart as a family. we are afraid the court wont split the boys up and make one of us move closer to the other. this would cause major static in our family’s cohesion. I think this is as close to a funtioning nuclear family as we could hope for. Please help
We understand your desire to to retain custody of one of your children, while the others stay with their mother. In most situations, a judicial representative will want to keep all the children together residing in one parent’s household. We also understand that you and the mother are amicable and want to come to an agreed decision together. You spoke with one of our advocates earlier this morning to discuss your situation. If you two do decide that you want our help in preparing the court documentation, we will be here to assist you. Keep in mind though, that courts want to do what’s in the best interest of the children, and in most cases that means keeping all the children living together.
WE HAVE A 10 YEAR OLD Son WHOS MOTHER HAS MOVED 7 TIMES IN 10 YEARS CAUSING HIM TO ALSO CHANGE SCHOOLS EACH TIME. sHE doesn’t even get up witht him to help them to get ready for school or breakfast, There is a lot more to much to get into. She has several diferent romantic relationships with both men and women and subjects this life style to them. She has now moved again telling the court that Dawson will have his own room when in fact he sleeps in an unfinished ,unheated basement on a mattress on a cold cement slab. He is very scared. We have a safe secure Loving enviroment for him to live. Our Lawyer seems very lazy and disinteresed in Dawson’s case. Like I said there is alot more but her being homeless with him is our main priiority at this time for his safey, health, enotional and mental welfare and wellbeing. We have a loving ,secure safe home which we own for him to live in and he does 4 days per week per a court order, In the mean time poor Dawson is the is suffering. Please advise
This certainly needs to be resolved. You attorney should be suggesting ways to prove some of the statements you made about his moms lifestyle and unsuitable living conditions for your son. Being that you have an attorney we cant help you at this time. However, you should consider how you want to move forward if this attorney isn’t interested in the case, as you put it. Has anything been filed yet? Do you have any court dates coming up? If so you should finish through to the final hearing with your current counsel.
Also, take some time to review our other posts about gathering evidence and how to prove the other parent to be unfit. Based on what you stated about the circumstances, it shouldn’t be that difficult to get a modification approved in court. Work with your attorney and hopefully you can get this behind you in the near near future.
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