As with many parents who have gone through a divorce or break up it is not always easy to stay in the area. Whether its because of limited finances, a new opportunity, family, or you just need a change of scenery more and more people are moving after a divorce. Regardless of whether you move away, or the other parent moves, with the children it creates a gap between you and your children. Parenting is tough when your child isn’t with you the entire time and you can’t be there on the day to day. Let alone if you have to try and be a parent from a few hundred miles or even a few states away. There are a few things that can really help keep that strong and loving bond between you and your children and still be as active as possible in their lives.
Communicate with the other parent
Keeping communications with the other parent is crucial!! They are your lifeline to your child and if you really want to know what is happening with your child, you need to ask. Most times children will evade certain facts about their school or how they are doing in their activities. Getting the truth from the other parent will help you be kept in the loop of what is new with your child. Being kept informed is also a good basis to discuss the best way to help parent the child in these situations.
Talk with your children
Depending on the custody and visitation arrangement you have with the other parent, you may be able to talk to the children every day or once a week. It very important that you talk to the children as much as possible. If you’re able to call them every day, even if its just to say goodnight, make sure you do. This will allow you to keep up some resemblance of the relationship you had with them before the separation and move. Also when you are talking to your children make it somewhat lighthearted, no one likes to feel like they’re getting interrogated, even though you might be brimming with questions for them.
Court Order Up to Date
In an ideal world we wouldn’t need court orders and everyone could be trusted on their word. Unfortunately, most of the time, this isn’t the case. If you and the other parent had a visitation order that was in place before the move it is more than likely it is no longer applicable. Every other weekend visitation doesn’t work that well when you are 2000 miles away from your children. Its very important you have a visitation court order that is current to your situation. Without it the other parent can dictate when you see and talk to your children.
Seeing your children only a few times a year is tough on you and your children. Seeing them as much as possible is vital to keeping up a healthy relationship. Make sure you are exercising all of the visitations allowed by the court order and the other parent. If you know you will be in their area and would like to see the children, it doesn’t hurt to ask for additional visitation. When you do see your children try to have activities planned so it’s a memorable visit. They can play a game or go to the park.
Read more at AboutTheChildren.org
Also, you can call us at (800) 787-4981